wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
