sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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