No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
