What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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