We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
