question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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