note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
