Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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