i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is it because I queefed?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
