We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize