I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
