Dual....:-)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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