doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
