I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize