I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
