We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
