It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
