I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize