I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
