you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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