omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
