gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
