Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
