fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
