What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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