we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
