He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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