last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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