Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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