to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
