AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
