Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
