You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
