I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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