I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
