she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
