If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
