Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
