Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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