i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
