You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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