I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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