I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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