Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
