I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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