It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
