no, he came in my armpit
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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