My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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