STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
