that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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