we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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