If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
