it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
