Christians are straight up FREAKS
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize