I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
