So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
