Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
