Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
