I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Please, let me fuck your mom
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
