He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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