nut hugger
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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