I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
