3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
