I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
