y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
