I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
